Have you ever had one of those conversations ... where you look back & you wish you could eat your own words? Not because you said something bad per say ... but because what you said triggered the other party in the conversation to reply with a dagger from the enemy meant to poison your hope. Sometimes you can literally feel the air being sucked from your chest as insecurity & doubt take over. It can be the tiniest thing that causes those insecurities to creep in ... creeping ever so slightly if you aren’t on the lookout you won’t notice the infection until you are a defeated hopeless mess.
I had one of those today.
As much as I wish I could take back my own words that started the conversation ... my heart is overflowing with gratitude that God nudged me to forget the checklists of the day & instead lean into him for his grace.
Ever have that moment where you hunt high & low for the current book you are reading like it should be RIGHT HERE because you read it yesterday ... but instead your eye catches another ... you decide ok God whatever I’ll start this today instead.
“A very real enemy has been strategizing and scheming against you ... assaulting you ... coming after your emotions ... your mind ... your man ... your child ... your future. In fact ... he’s doing it right this second. Right where you’re sitting. Right where you are.” - Fervent by Priscilla Shirer
Ever since moving to Dallas 5 years ago purely because I knew God was calling me here for the greater plan he has for my life ... it has been WAR. While my highlight reel has featured incredible business success ... behind the scenes it’s been a fight for my life and my soul since the moment I landed.
“... a personalized strategy has been insidiously put in place to destroy your vibrancy and render you defeated. It’s been drawn up on the blackboard by someone who knows where you live and whom you love ... knows your customary tendencies and knows from long experience how best to exploit every single one of them. And maybe up until now it’s been working.” - Fervent by Priscilla Shirer
I’ve dedicated my life to growth ... becoming firmer in the knowing Christ has designed me to change the world by igniting a fire in hearts to learn grow & lead others into growth ... learning how to lean on him to find strength in my weaknesses ... but sometimes just as I find the antidote for one of the enemies poisons ... it’s like he creates a new strain targeting yet another one of my weaknesses.
2 Corinthians 1:4 “He comforts us in all our troubles.” My dear friend & spiritual mentor reminded me of the FULL chapter of Hebrews 11. This chapter reminds us of the difficult journeys of those who came before us. They were mocked stoned banished & ridiculed for standing firm in their beliefs ... but it was by their faith they continued to pursue the calling God had placed on their life. You can try & say life isn’t that hard anymore ... we aren’t stoned in the streets ... but sometimes I think it would be easier to be stoned in front of hundreds than slandered in front of thousands on social media.
How often do we take our heartaches & troubles as signs of closing doors ... when in reality its the enemy seeking to destroy the very thing God has called us to be great in? I’ve found sometimes I get so distracted in over contemplating WHY something happened that left me wounded ... & is causing me to want to walk away ... that I miss seeing God’s strategic moves for protection & better alignment to set me up for the victory he desires for my life.
Today I am choosing the War Room. I am choosing to show up for battle armed in specific & strategic prayers that protect me ... that comfort me in this very area the enemy has been using as his battle plan since before I was even born. I believe God has victory for me ... and I believe he has it for you!